My first lesson of the day was hour seven of my teacher consultancy for the Drum Kempo Ju Jutsu and Fitness anti-bullying programme. Having covered what sort of people bully, what sort of people can be bullied and how bullying might take place, we looked at ways to become a harder target for bullies.
Prior to this there were the usual segways and side discussions on continued professional development. My client is currently immersed in some prolific Brazilian Jiu Jitsu training, which I can relate to. We discussed the pros and cons of this area of attribute training – its seductive sophistication as a combat sport, especially one that allows for fully resistant sparring with a proportionately lower risk of serious injury. My client discussed the many options is can offer for different problems which can be both good and bad. It reminded me of my favourite boxer, Archie Moore, who is mentioned in my upcoming podcast, and the many solutions he had available during a fight.
With regards to the actual main content of the lesson, I expanded upon the following the points:
- Take charge – you own your feelings and body. This is at the heart of the entire premise of my umbrella young person’s self-protection programme “When Parents Aren’t Around”. Bullies are easier to manage when they cannot manipulate an intended target. A person becomes harder to manipulate when they have agency and self sovereignty.
- Set boundaries – moral, emotional, mental and physical. We set boundaries to build fences, but more than that they become extensions of our personality and behaviours. By its very nature, these boundaries are personal and highly subjective. From a bullying perspective, we need to ensure we are not easily triggered whilst being mindful of malicious behaviour.
- Be confident not cocky – Developing quiet and proportionate confidence is quite a skill. Confidence needs to grow from competence.
- Be aware – people, places, hazards, changes (and context). Basic personal security situational awareness. Through the lens of an anti-bullying, this might be seen as reading a room or your own social circle.